Broken Mother's Day

Broken Mother's Day

By Kara Ogston

This week as Mother’s Day approaches and all the happy pictures full of flowers and families begin to flood your feeds... it is an unrelenting reminder to those who struggle to celebrate… whether it is a painful reminder of your babies your arms still ache to hold or of a broken relationship or of loss of your own mom… it can be a hard day.  

I remember a Mother’s Day several years ago… I had just lost twins and two of my good friends were struggling to “deal” with how overwhelmed they were with their newborn twins.  Each picture that Mother’s Day seemed to be mocking  me.  It was so hard as I silently grieved the loss of the precious gift of twins that we’d always wanted.  I’ve had many Mother’s Days that were more full of pain than happiness.  Some years it was the loss of our baby/babies, other years it was seeing the healthy pictures of kids with their mamas when my picture was full of oxygen tubes, IVs, and monitors.  

I remember a lady I didn’t even know writing me a letter around Mother’s Day after we had buried our day old baby boy… she didn’t tell me it would get better or that all things happen for our good or that time would heal.  She only shared with me that she had lost her son years before and that Mother’s day was hard and that she was praying for me.  That simple acknowledgement that it was ok that the day was hard for me as everyone around me seemed to be celebrating was such a gift.  It didn’t lessen my pain but it did give me the freedom to feel the loss.  I didn’t have to put on a happy face and pretend I was happy when I wasn’t.  Knowing she was praying for me when I didn’t have the strength was such an encouragement for my hurting heart.    

I don’t know what this Mother’s day brings up for you, but I do know we have a God who is near the broken-hearted, who curates your tears, and keeps account of your tossings in the night.  So this week I cry out to him on behalf of those of you that I know have lost your sweet baby, or your dear mother, or the day just brings up lots of brokenness and hurt.  We have a God who doesn’t stand far off while we hurt, but comes near and walks with us through our dark valley no matter how long it takes!  

So this year on Mother’s Day I recall my own pain and like Samuel of the Bible who took a rock of remembrance and said “till now God has been by help.” (1 Samuel 7:12)  It’s just that my stone of remembrance just happens to have my son’s name etched on it.  I want to remember.  Through the heartache and pain He has been steadfast.  Through my screams and anger He’s remained.  In my jealousy of other’s happiness He’s been my rescue.  So this day makes me remember my own losses, but also causes me to pray for those who don’t have the strength to pray… to lift up those who are weary.  If that’s you today, message me, I’d be honored to pray specifically for you.  

“The Lord is the everlasting God,
the creator of the ends of the earth.
He does not faint or grow weary;
He gives power to the faint,
And to him who has no might 
he increases their strength.”
-Isaiah 40:28-29

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